4 days ago
Part 1: Restructuring Divorce With Discernment Counseling with Arlene Rosen
Dr. Rob and Marriage and Family Therapist and CSAT Arlene Rosen explore the options available to couples who are on the fence about staying together or separating. They discuss discernment counseling, litigation, and collaborative divorce; and consider the benefits and difficulties associated with each route. Arlene is an advocate of restructuring the marriage or divorce through a discernment counseling process, and she shares the value of engaging in discernment counseling to explore whether there is really any breath left in a relationship.
TAKEAWAYS:
[1:22] The driver behind Arlene’s work with addiction and divorce.
[4:39] The role and value of a mediator in divorce.
[6:30] Litigation and court process horror stories.
[10:38] Discernment counseling as a preliminary divorce consideration.
[13:10] Restructuring the marriage through a discernment counseling process.
[14:30] Separation is always on the table.
[17:15] Discernment counseling explores whether there is any breath left in a relationship.
[19:53] Collaborative divorce is an excellent alternative to traditional divorce.
[25:49] First steps in getting started with collaborative divorce.
RESOURCES:
Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment
Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.
QUOTES:
- “Discernment counseling is a protocol for when one person is leaning out of a relationship and the other person is leaning in.”
- “Discernment counseling is not for people who have already made a decision about divorce.”
- “Discernment counseling is an opportunity to determine if you are willing to meet the other person’s needs and to work on this relationship.”
1 days ago
I have so much respect and admiration for Dr. Rob. Over the years, I’ve learned a great deal from him—I’m a licensed clinician myself—and I continue to value his insights. That said, this specific episode was genuinely super difficult to listen to. If it were transcribed, I think we’d be taken aback by how frequently Dr. Rob interrupted his guest. It’s truly a testament to her composure that she was able to stay on track. The way Dr. Rob asked questions felt noticeably different from his usual style: impulsive, abrupt, and unusually disruptive. I say this not to diminish his brilliance or clinical gifts, but because, as a fellow clinician, I found the experience jarring. Had I been the guest, I’m not sure I would have been able to finish the conversation.