Q&A with Rob and Tami: When Do I Need Help for My Addiction?

Dr. Rob and Tami share what a couple can expect when they sit down and talk with Dr. Rob in person or over Zoom when they are ready to address their infidelity and addiction issues. How do you know if a residential treatment is right for you? What do you do when your spouse still continues to lie to you after formal disclosure? All these questions answered, and more! 

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[0:45] How long does it take to rewire a porn-addicted mind? 

[4:50] Addicts think, ‘they can’t live without this’ but when they take a pause they realize that they didn’t die. That they can push through. 

[6:45] My husband said he’d be honest about the affairs going forward. This has been a complete lie. Where do I go from here? 

[8:45] Whatever you do, don’t give up on you. 

[14:15] Unfortunately, you may never get what you want from that person. 

[20:25] I fluctuate between me being a horrible person vs. me being a good person that just did a horrible thing. How can I differentiate?

[25:55] I struggle to take ownership. Not sure what I should do? 

[34:25] If you have a question about your spouse’s addiction, write it down. Collect them, and then sit down at a scheduled time and talk about them. 

[37:45] How do you know if residential treatment makes sense for you?

[45:00] What does it mean to do a consultation with Dr. Rob? 

 

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

 

QUOTES

• “The brain doesn’t get rewired, it’s not a motherboard, but it does adapt.”

• “You’re getting the kind of message that you have to work on your own life and what you want from the other person, you may never get; as much as you deserve it.”

• “Guilt is a good thing. Healthy guilt I made a mistake, I need to go back and fix it. Guilt is good information.”