Thursday Oct 13, 2022
Part 2 - How Do You Become a Sex Addict?
Dr. Rob continues his solo episode to further discuss some common questions that arise in his practice. Dr. Rob is passionate about reducing the shame and stigma of sex addiction and offers an explanation as to where sex addiction might stem from. It is possible to find inner peace in your recovery journey, but you have to put in the work to reap any reward.
TAKEAWAYS:
[2:55] Dr. Rob explains what healthy love looks like in small children.
[5:20] Can children under 4 be depressed?
[6:10] What does ‘feeling loved’ really feel like?
[7:10] Even when you get genuine connection and love, you still feel like you don’t deserve it.
[12:00] Because no one was taking care of us emotionally, addicts find a way to fill in the blanks.
[18:00] How do you get your needs met as an adult?
[20:15] It’s okay to be needy!
[24:50] Addicts are so used to being shamed for having minimal emotional needs.
[29:10] Addicts would rather eat dirt than to ask for help.
[32:20] Dr. Rob shares a powerful story about him asking for what he needed.
[35:55] Dr. Rob felt so much shame for even having to ask for help.
RESOURCES:
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
QUOTES:
- “A child should be the center of the universe. They need narcissism. Narcissism at 4 is a really good thing, narcissism at 44 is not such a good thing.”
- “You’re not children anymore, but you still need food. Well, guess what, you can’t survive without love as adults either.”
- “Us addicts have replaced our need for love with our need for intensity.”
- “The addict helped us survive.”
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