“I Want to Stay” Keeping Relationships Together After Betrayal

Dr. Merry Frons has been working with individuals’ and couples’ relationship issues for the past 25 years. Her training as a sex therapist grew out of her experience working with couples when she realized that sexuality issues were part of couples' concerns and had a large influence on the underlying couples’ dynamic. Dr. Merry is out with a new book, The Trust Solution, where she talks about how two spouses can work on building trust and a healthy relationship again; A topic both her and Dr. Rob dive into on this week’s episode! 

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:25] A little bit about Dr. Merry Frons

[3:25] Why did Dr. Merry decide to write her book, The Trust Solution? 

[5:20] So many people are dealing with intimacy betrayal issues and they need guidance and help. It’s difficult to navigate this space alone.

[6:55] What does the betrayed partner go through after they’ve discovered infidelity? 

[8:15] Dr. Merry shares some of the important steps a hurt partner needs to focus on. 

[10:45] If the cheating partner wants to work through this, what can they do? 

[12:20] The biggest step to a better relationship is by being honest and coming clean.

[14:25] Sometimes a betrayed partner wants to know everything and anything, but there are limits to knowing everything. 

[16:15] The betrayed spouse doesn’t want to continue the relationship, now what? 

[18:40] if both parties want to make it work, what are the next steps? 

[23:20] What does Dr. Merry mean by attunement in this context?

[26:45] The spouse that has broken the relationship is trying, but they might not know about the tools available to them to help build healing.

[27:25] How do you build a two-party system when you’re so hurt and angry? A real partnership? 

[31:10] What does Dr. Merry mean by ‘flow’? 

[33:50] There’s no right or wrong decision on whether to stay or go. 

RESOURCES: 

The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men 

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Connect with Dr. Merry: Renewcounselingpllc.com

 

QUOTES:

• “How could you do this if you loved me? You say you loved me, and yet you did this to me.”
• “The hurt partner needs time to process these emotions. They need safety, support, and soothing.”
• “You can’t heal what is not acknowledged.”