How to Heal After a Betrayal: Dr. Monique Thompson on Navigating Infidelity

Dr. Monique Thompson is a Psychotherapist in Dallas, Texas. She has seen over 1,000 couples in her counseling practice over the years and now shares tips and tools for couples to help recover from infidelity. She recently wrote a workbook for couples who are looking to recover from infidelity and shares her industry insights with Dr. Rob on today’s episode. After infidelity, many couples are unconsciously going to war with one another. Dr. Monique shares how you can get back to peaceful territory once again. 

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[3:40] Why did Dr. Monique decide to write a book about infidelity recovery?

[7:20] What responsibilities or accountability should the non-affair partner take on?  

[10:55] When you choose to stay, you have to mentally keep in mind you’re going to war. You’re no longer in a time of peace. 

[11:25] Some couples never consciously choose to stay. They just didn’t get divorced and that is not the same. 

[15:35] Why did Dr. Monique write the Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples?

[20:30] Your own healing comes from a place of healing within yourself. Your partner won’t be able to help you with that. 

[24:30] Are you compelled to set down ultimatums in hopes your partner will change? 

[32:25] Dr. Monique shares why it’s important to take a deep breath in and reset your mindset.

[36:00] Sometimes people cheat because they can’t be themselves. What happens when someone finally reveals their ‘true’ persona and their partner still wants to leave?

[39:55] Does Dr. Monique have a different approach for a young couple vs. an older couple? 

 

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men 

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss

Doctormoniquethompson.com/

Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples

 

QUOTES:

• “If you’re choosing to stay, you’re choosing to go off to war. You’re not at home during peace time.”

• “Sometimes, people really didn’t choose to stay, they just didn’t get a divorce. That’s not the same.”

• “I ask couples if they are willing to set a peace treaty down for a period of time to be able to begin the work.”