Thursday Oct 29, 2020
BONUS: Q&A with Rob & Tami - You Can’t Fix Your Partner, You Can Only Work on Your Addiction and Your Healing
Rob and Tami discuss how to best keep boundaries with your mother, how to work through betrayal as a betrayed spouse in a way that encourages your addict to be honest with you, and Rob explains how sexuality works and why you might be attracted to men vs. not.
TAKEAWAYS:
[0:45] How can I communicate my boundaries without making it into a threat?
[7:25] There are three rules you want to keep in mind when you want to make it work and there’s been a betrayal in the relationship. Dr. Rob explains.
[9:50] How do I set boundaries with my mother who subjected me to covert incest?
[15:05] Can a man be bi or gay without being sexually aroused by male bodies?
[21:45] My wife caught me and is now hypersensitive to stress. How long will this last?
[28:20] My boyfriend has a porn addiction. What’s next?
RESOURCES:
Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Book by Robert Weiss
Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction by Robert Weiss
Cruise Control Book by Robert Weiss
QUOTES:
- “My focus in early recovery would be if he is being honest with me. Is he talking regularly about what he’s doing in therapy?”
- “You can’t fix your wife. You can only work on your addiction and your healing so that you’re aren’t showing up being the betrayer over and over again.”
- “We knew what we were doing. We chose what we wanted to say to our spouses and hide.”
- “We kept this a secret from them and we worked hard at it. It’s often a tremendous shock to your spouse and we need to give them the grace at the time to be angry and hurt for a while.”
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