ADHD In Relationships and Addiction with Dr. Todd Love

Dr. Todd Love is a board-certified coach, licensed professional counselor and licensed attorney with a unique and broad background. He joins the show to talk with Rob about his own clinical practice in Athens, GA and exactly what ADHD is, how we diagnose it, and why it so strongly affects both the healing of addictions and relationship issues. Dr. Love shares his own personal experience with ADHD, what he has seen change in the field of diagnosis and treatment for ADHD throughout the years, the symptoms and signs, and what recovery may look like. Dr. Love and Rob also discuss how it shows up in childhood, relationships, and addiction, as well as resources where someone could get an evaluation. 

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:54] Historically, people thought of ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) as something that affected only children, and more specifically, young males. It is now a more or less equal issue and shows up in more places than just the early childhood classroom. 

[4:38] ADHD is a whole other different type of issue than mania. 

[5:27] If you run into a therapist who has worked with that issue for a while and have safety and understanding, work with this person as they are likely to have empathy and compassion towards that subject. 

[6:08] Up to 20-40% of “intensity seekers” have an existing ADHD problem that is contributing to or the cause of an addiction. Intensity seekers can be thrill seeking or novelty seeking that leads to problem behavior patterns such as gambling, sex addiction and overspending.

[8:41] In order to get the ADHD diagnosis, the addiction would need to be quelled. A lot of treatment centers don’t screen for ADHD and instead look for disorders, and they may even have people stop their medications, which makes the problem worse. 

[13:41] It can be a very emotional shift for an adult who gets diagnosed and treated after years of struggling with symptoms and consequences from problematic behaviors due to their ADHD. 

[19:40] The partner of someone with ADHD needs to have compassion and understanding on this issue, otherwise it may cause a lot of frustration, miscommunication, and resentment. Dr. Love makes himself vulnerable and discloses that he does have ADHD, so others know he isn’t being rude or dismissive if he is moving around or distracted while talking. 

[26:43] Official diagnosis come from doctors or neuropsychological testing, since school systems require formal diagnosing. This information can then be brought to a therapist or psychiatrist. 

 

RESOURCES: 

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men 

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Rob@sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) among longer-term prison inmates is a prevalent, persistent and disabling disorder

The Couples Guide to Thriving With ADHD 

CHADD 

ADD.org 

DocToddLove.com

QUOTES:

• “Don’t be afraid of those who have worked through their own issues and are now working with you.” 
• “You make yourself intimate to people by telling them things you would rather hide.” 
• “In order to make it intimate, and for us to be real with each other, I have to tell you my truth.” 
• “If you live with someone with ADHD, it requires a consistent compromise to make it work.”